|nibbling on toes|

i am drunk in love with her.

boy, she loves solids! she pretty much loves everything she has tried so far. for some reason, the store-bought packets get a better reception than my homemade version of the same.

she loves to laugh and play and explore. she hates to nap.

she cut two teeth yesterday! her two bottom ones -and we think there is one top one that will pop any minute, now.

she is growing up so fast.

i can't get enough of the way she smells, and the way she hangs onto me when i hold her. she's starting to show separation anxiety. she cries if we walk out of the room and she can't see us. a couple of times, matt walked out of the room, and she didn't realize i was still with her.

oh, how she loves matt. she's all googly over him. (i know how she feels!)

she is so perfect and precious. i have been thinking a lot about what i want to do after my fellowship. another fellowship? a real job? academics? it is true that your priorities change during the course of medical training... life happens despite the fact that you are stuck in place. in the past few months, i have already learned how hard it is to be both a good wife & mother as well as a good physician. i am not sure that the two can peacefully coexist as priorities. something has to give, somewhere. one has to give up more than the other, and it is obvious to me which takes priority; i just wish it were easier to reconcile.

|coffee and crackers|

all the turmoil that i bring home inside me at the end of the day -it is washed free when i look at her little face.  we let her roll around on the floor.  the cats entice her to be more mobile, but she will never catch up to them; they are always just out of tiny hands' reach.  i feel peaceful, just watching her.

 

eventually, though, we all go to bed, and i lay awake thinking about work.  even when i sleep and i dream about work.  i've had this recurring dream for the past two weeks about my pager going off and not hearing it. 

 

last night, she woke up at 1am and 3am and talked to herself for a while.  but she went to sleep again.  when i checked on her before work, she had fallen asleep reaching for her teddybear. 

 

she likes sweet potatoes.  she was doing a little dance every time she had a bite of sweet potato.  she's thinking about liking pears, but hasn't decided yet.

 

she is so perfect. 

|fleeting|

these are the perfect days. she smiles and laughs so much. she takes comfort at my breast.

if only kisses could always make her laugh.

|smiles all around|

look! it's picaso daddy!

one of the girls asked me why i wasn't going to "girls' night out". i didn't have a good lie, so i just told her the truth, "i want to stay home and hang out with the baby."

i think they were horrified. as if that were the point of a night out -to get away. oh well. i don't see her enough as it is. and i can't get enough of her as it is.

she has so many smiles. she likes bananas and she likes sweet potatoes. but she is still working on how to swallow when she wants.

this weekend went too fast.