|such intensity|

ok, here she is...

madeline mei jin h---

born on august 13th, 2007 at 3:14am.

7 pounds 12.5 oz and 20.5 inches.

she came on her due date -punctual; i like that!

a few words on maternity leave...

so, it took me over 3 weeks to post something here. our birth announcements still haven't been mailed, and i think i have one lingering thank you note to send out.

i thought maternity leave would be a period of quiet reflection, nurturing, and bonding. i thought there would be time for everything. i thought i could read, work on my personal statements for fellowship applications, blog, make rosaries(!) and contemplate the beauty of my sleeping darling. in reality, there is only time for her. her feeding, pooping, fussing...

there is no time. for dishes, laundry, mail and bills. there isn't even enough time to take pictures of her. the days are slipping by so fast. she is growing so quickly and i feel like these moments are like sand in my fist. the more i try to clutch and cling to them, the faster they disappear. and yet, when she cries, it is like an eternity.

i miss sleep. i envy matt. he is always rested. and he gets to do the fun things with her. he isn't exhausted of her by the end of the day. he has the energy to take her out on walks, while mom tries to catch a nap at home before they come back and she wants to eat again.

we are breast feeding. it has been a harrowing experience. i promised to give it 2 weeks. i cried and wanted to quit. when we made it to 2 weeks, i promised three. i stopped crying, but i still wanted to quit. now, we're going to make it to 4 weeks, and every day is going to get better.

hopefully, by the time maternity leave is up, we will be pros at it.

she's incredible.